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Joke of the Day

"If I was a vampire, pretty sure I'd find a way to cover blood in cheese."

"So I was talking to my 13 year old friend online.... And out of nowhere she told me she was an FBI agent. How cool is that?!"

"I like my women like the World Trade Centers Tall, hot, and going down"

"Oh thank God (what I think every time I enter an public restroom that's empty)"

"Why did the T.V. break up with the remote? She thought he was too controlling."

"I just answered two Jeopardy questions in a row. This must be what Einstein must have felt like."

"What do you call a pig that does karate? Q: What do you call a pig that does karate? A: A pork chop."

"The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep."

"A bicycle can't stand on its own. . . . . because it is two-tired."

"As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.."