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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Ahmadinejad have a beer? He wasn't in the MahMoud."

"What does an Australian witch ride on? A broomerang!"

"A man gets his drill and drills a hole in a wall... ..its a bit boring."

"""You're sure you understand stock trading?"" ME: Yep ""Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"""

"My wife called me a child. I told her, be careful who you're calling a child because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert."

"What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday? I don't know, she hasn't opened it"

"Tsunamis are caused by dolphins breakdancing to celebrate passing another IQ test."

"The pirate missing a hand was looking for a replacement. I suggested the second hand store"

"[ad for umbrellas] [cut to me trying to swat away raindrops, just getting totally wet] ""There must be a better way!"" Voiceover: UMBRELLAS"

"I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, 'Excuse me, I need some condoms.' He said, 'Just a minute.' And I said, 'Yep, that's my brand.'"