20365

Joke of the Day

"I saw a church's sign say ""God is my Facebook."" Does that mean two men can poke each other on God?"

"I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit."

"I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added ""they fall right off"""

"I have Electile Dysfunction Electile Dysfunction : the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2016 election year."

"My wife said that my 5 year old gets really hyper because of the sugar he has at breakfast so I think I'll stop putting it in his coffee."

"I never proof read anything myself Instead, I just sandwich my writings with hateful opinions, post them to Reddit, and read the replies. People seem more than eager to point out my mistakes."

"(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.) They see me rolling. They hating."

"When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one? At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees."

"How do you separate Siamese triplets? WE CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN AND PASS THE SAVINGS ALONG TO YOUUUUU!!!"

"Husband: I'll unload the dishwasher for you, honey. Me: No rush. 3 days later.......regrets saying no rush."