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Joke of the Day

"Imagine if Frodo was all ""Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home."" Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote."

"This Vietnamese couple I knew got married... Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."

"Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence defeat and detail in it. Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence defeat go before detail !"

"I've been married for about 45 lbs."

"What Will Mexico's National Sport Become if Trump Is Elected? Pole Vaulting"

"Sir, your wife was stabbed ten times, but the missing piece is the murder weapon. So far we have nothing, Mr *checks notes* Scissorhands."

"Police searching for a missing child heard heavy breathing coming from a parked van. But, when they looked, it was just a kid napping."

"Cemetery Which is better: a cemetery or a jewish cemetery? A Jewish one because I only need to dig one hole."

"I spent the day in nature and by nature I mean drinking beer on a golf course. I saw a butterfly."

"What do you call a bad pun? Punishment."