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Joke of the Day

"""Honey, I think I lost weight!"" ""Get on the scale, I bet you'll find it."""

"""Damn girl! I think you're giving me mesothelioma cuz yo ass bestest!"""

"What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy? A hundred dollar bill."

"Put the punchline in the title. How do you ruin a joke?"

"What is the easiest way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer."

"Me: OMG, I haven't seen you in so long! Her: We've never met. Me: That long huh?"

"Next time during church, stand up and ask your pastor ""Have you ever turned down heroin?"" Both Yes and No are equally entertaining answers."

"What Do You Call 4 Mexicans In Quicksand? Cuatro Cinco!"

"I don't like it when my phone puts a word in ""quotals"" like I made it up or I'm stupid or something."

"Did you hear what happened to the guy that only ate cake? He got his just desserts."