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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish kid asks his dad... A Jewish kid asks his dad one day, ""Dad, I need five dollars."" His father replies, ""Four dollars? What the hell do you need three dollars for?!"""

"What is the strongest animal? A racehorse because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at once!"

"Electrician jokes Ohm my god, watt the fuck, breakers be trippin'"

"Motivating words are harder with autocorrect... - Archive your dreams. - Be excrement to each other. - Nottingham is impossible. - The only thing standing in your way is autocorrect."

"What do you call a Asian born in Canada Ehsian"

"I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance."

"What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity? Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!"

"[breakfast in hell] STALIN: Toast is burnt POL POT: Eggs are rotten HITLER: I hate the juice STALIN: Oh here we go HITLER: I said JUICE"

"One time I had a boss who called me while he was in the bathroom, and then he accidentally peed on himself, so sometimes good things happen."

"Why Does Jesus suck at hockey? He's always getting nailed to the boards."