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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a person who likes white rice, and not brown rice? A ricest."
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"""Be cool, it's the cops"" I said to my 3 cats I dressed up like robbers as my other 3 cats came out of the kitchen dressed like policemen"
"Made a Freudian slip, with my ex-wife. I meant to say: ""Hello"" but actually said: ""You silly cow, you've ruined my life."""
"No one has ever said, ""You know what would make this even better? Turkey bacon."""
"If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who's dumber than me, I'd have $11 cause I work for a small company."
"Wife: Do the dishes Me: Can't. Holding the baby Wife: Take out the trash Me: Can't. Baby Wife: Change the baby Me: Can't. Doing dishes."
"A brazilian, uruguayan and argentinian walk into the bar... ...celona team. GOAAAAAAAAL ! GOAAAAAAAAL ! GOAAAAAAAAL !"
"I complimented someone for their amazing mustache. I don't understand why she threw a fit though."
"What do you do if a gang of clowns attack you? Go for the juggler."
"A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says ""We don't allow Higgs Bosons in here."" The Higgs Boson replied, ""Well, without me, you can't have mass."""