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Joke of the Day

"Speaking from experience, No More Tears shampoo does not work as advertised if you drop the bottle on a baby's face."

"What is the first thing a cannibal does after dumping his girlfriend? He wipes his ass."

"Abraham Lincoln is in a cent until proven guilty."

"How does a bad comedian sleep at night? I don't know."

"What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world? An ambulance"

"Your mother ."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he won't be able to come to you."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his arse."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into my girlfriend's ass."

"Why doesn't people with two dicks get into the porn industry? Because they know they'll be fucked over. Edit: Don't, not doesn't. Sorry can't change title."