203237

Joke of the Day

"Comb On! What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Gee, I'll never part with it!"

"""Oh my god! Sarah Jessica Parker is a competitive sprinter?!"" ""Greg, calm down! This is just the Kentucky Derby."""

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."

"I love my wife dearly, but she just used the word ""whatevs"" for the first time, so 17 years. It's been a good run."

"I'm not really fan of gallows humor It just always leaves me hanging."

"Why is Reddit called Reddit? Because you've probably read it before."

"What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A virgin"

"How many Donald Trumps does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one to tell the three illegal immigrants he hired to do it."

"I swear, just as she was falling asleep, my seven-year-old murmured ""giggity."""

"I asked her if she had ever tried 69 I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""