20321

Joke of the Day

"I got attacked by someone who suffers with premature ejaculation today. He just came out of nowhere."

"Why did the console player cross the road? To get the game 6 months earlier"

"I'm sure wherever my dad is he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."

"Ringling Bros. circus introduces the first female ringleader in 134 years! And now they're going out of business."

"As the news breaks of the passing of Michele Ferrero... I can't help but shed a chocolatier."

"Everyone knows that lighting our farts is great, but when are we gonna be able to vape our farts?"

"Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you're looking for a business manager."

"yes lassie? ""bark"" Timmy's in the well and you pissed in my slippers and you told me about Timmy first so I wouldn't get mad ""bark"" smart"

"Every time you sing ""What a Friend We Have in Jesus"" I'm reminded how much I disapprove of My son's friends."

"If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message. Put the message in a bottle. Hit them over the head with the bottle."