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Joke of the Day

"Hey Facebook, I really don't care that somebody commented on a post that I commented on seven days ago."

"How did the nucleus escape from prison? Through the cell wall. I'm sorry. This was just too wonderful to resist sharing."

"LIFE HACK: If a public restroom is locked, violently yank the door handle over and over like a gorilla and never accept that it's occupied"

"What do you call a 45 pound Ethiopian? Fat."

"If you can be Batman, always be Batman Some people are Jewish, some are Arabs, but I prefer to be Christian Bale."

"Bonnie said I should join the Facebook like she did. Said its good way to get in touch with friends. Lord, at my age I'd need a ouija board"

"You made an imprint on my heart like a big butt on a memory foam mattress."

"Did you hear about the farmer who tried to be a stand up comedian? His jokes weren't dairy funny."

"What do they call deepthroating in Asia? They don't have a word for it."

"Mobius strippers... never show their backside."