203079

Joke of the Day

"Why did the woman get stoned off her ass? Sharia Law."

"i have a joke, but not funny ."

"My doctor told me that I have syphillis, gonnorhea and chlamydia. On the positive side... HIV."

"Now that it's all blown over, those Alton Towers victims should look on the bright side. Free parking."

"Why did Jennifer cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat belt"

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art not as nice as this time last year."

"My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex's car."

"How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk."

"WIFE: You said you were going to put the dog down ME: *in tears* I TRIED BUT HE HAD SOME REALLY DEVASTATING COMEBACKS"

"After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names. In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain."