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Joke of the Day

"Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier."

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"Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches? They prefer cricket matches!"
"Beer foam is the opposite of memory foam."
"If you ever feel uncomfortable in your body, just remember that Pornhub wouldn't keep their fat girl category if guys didn't like it and it wasn't making them money."
"Two blondes are waiting at a traffic light One says ""It's green."" The other ponders a few seconds, then replies ""A frog"""
"knock knock, whos there? your ex wife ................."
"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his ass."
"*Spoiler Alert* Siamese cats are just one cat, not two cats in one."
"Did you guys hear about the mob of comedians? It was a riot."
"How can you tell the inventor of the toothbrush was from West Virginia? If he was from anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush."