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Joke of the Day

"Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier."

"I'm a cop and I got caught choking the chicken in public I was revoked of my badge and sentenced to three years jail time. The chicken filed a civil rights suit and received 3 million in reparations"

"Did you hear about the war on diarrhea? It started out as a smear campaign, but ended up being a real shitshow."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, cause they can't change anything. (Just told to me by my 12 year old son.)"

"I blame my parents subscription to National Geographic when I was a kid for my preference for black women."

"DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCE: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me."

"Him- You're a useless piece of shit.. Me- Show me a useful piece of shit."

"How do we know that Adam and Eve weren't black? You can't take a rib from a black man"

"me: annie are you ok so annie are you ok are you ok annie (X5) girl [wearing name tag that says annie]: sir will it be paper or plastic"

"Skinny girls think they're fat, fat girls think they're obese. Obese girls...... think they can wear yoga pants"