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Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman ""hey how much for a drink?"" The barman replies ""For you, no charge"" Bazinga!"

"What is a traitor's favorite food? Eggs Benedict"

"Kidnapping Catnapping keeps you well rested, kidnapping gets you arrested."

"Some Mexican guy just tackled me & put silver/grey tape all over my belly then ran away... I was ab-duct-taped by an alien. (I'm so sorry)"

"What should you do if a bird poos on your car? Don't ask her out again"

"How can you tell if Lady Gaga is dead? Po-po-po-po-po-po-poke-her-face"

"Don't ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like ""always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."""

"I'm crying and wearing a falcon glove so I get sympathy sex from people who think my falcon flew away."

"What do you call 5 black people having sex? A threesome."

"What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a large pizza? ""A large pizza can feed a family of four"""