202725
Joke of the Day
"People who talk about me behind my back. You discussed me."
Next Joke
"No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers."
"I'm the kind of guy who would feel morally obligated to eat what I kill... So please don't try to rob my house..."
"How do you pick up a girl from Auschwitz..... With a broom and a dustpan."
"I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore"
"Bought an elephant for my friends So I bought my friends an elephant for their room. They said ""Thank you."" I said ""Don't mention it."""
"It's so cold outside... I even saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!"
"They call them ""reality shows"" but none of them are about drunk people scrolling through meaningless crap on the internet all night."
"I was told I look like a nazi soldier... And I said, ""no, this is a Wehrmacht uniform""."
"One word difference One word can change your day, your feelings, and life. Example: ""This is your captain speaking"" ""This isn't your captain speaking"""