202724

Joke of the Day

"Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies? They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business."

"Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman"

"I liked you better before we met."

"*wears a tuxedo tshirt to interview as a joke* McDonald's Manager: Oh wow, are you from corporate?"

"Request: Jokes for the sick? I have a good friend who was just hospitalized, hopefully nothing too serious. I'd love to send him a few short, clean jokes to cheer him up. Thanks!"

"What's the name of a computer that turned into a singer A dell."

"Unshakable Fact # 4 Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was killed by the woman's husband."

"I've been calling my wife ""honey"" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name."

"A woman walks into a bar... and says to the bartender, ""I'd like a beer please."" The bartender asks, ""Anheuser Busch?"" She responds, ""Just fine thanks, and how's your cock?"""

"I never proof read anything myself Instead, I just sandwich my writings with hateful opinions, post them to Reddit, and read the replies. People seem more than eager to point out my mistakes."