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Joke of the Day

"I could win the Nobel Peace Prize and not feel as accomplished as I do when I successfully put together something from Ikea."

"What do you call love between a Dick and an Asshole? Tainted Love"

"What do you call a dinosaur who knows how to please its woman? A Lickalottapus"

"Who is the director of the first wireless movie? Christopher No-LAN"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implant. One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean."

"Did you hear about Princess Dianas car crash? She was all over the radio. And the dash. And the windshield..."

"The neighbours dog has jumped up into my garden so much that he's totally destroyed the fence. Figured here's the best place to get it fixed as everyone is a certified reposter."

"What lurks in the dark, has wings and sucks blood? The new Always Ultra."

"What does a hockey player and a magician have in common? Both do hat tricks!"

"In the spirit of halloween.... why did the witch divorce her husband ? Because he had a hollow weiner"