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Joke of the Day

"For people with a gluten allergy, it's kind of like kryptonite, except Superman didn't find a way to mention it in every conversation."

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"What did Disney call their remake of Dante's Inferno? 101 damnations"
"*sees a cat yawning* How the hell can you be tired?"
"What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend? I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain."
"Spain at the 2014 World Cup"
"Best listener Girl: My boyfriend never listens to me. Friend: You should date a blind mute. Girl: why? Friend: he's all ears"
"It's important to know your neighbors by name. For instance, ""Mr. Mean Old Man"" and his wife, ""Screamy""."
"Why do Communists only drink coffee? Because proper tea is theft."
"my penis was in the Guinness book of world records for some reason the librarian didn't like it and threw me out:("
"Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM."