202513

Joke of the Day

"The most embarrassing thing about mistaking pilates class for pirates class is concealing my musket."

"When your friends start with the Dead Baby jokes, hit them with this (NSFW): How do you blend a baby? Feet first so you can cum in its mouth as it screams."

"Why Twitter deleted so many terrorist accounts recently? Otherwise they'd kill all the 140 characters."

"Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money."

"What does a ghost drink? Boo's."

"My mother-in-law talked non-stop while we watched Criminal Minds and now I have an idea for a cool new episode."

"A woman is at her father's deathbed. She hasn't seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left. ""Dad, I'm sorry,"" she whispers. ""Goodbye, Sorry,"" he says, ""*I'm dead.*"""

"What did the black boy say when he had diarrhea? I'm melting!"

"How do all races end in the desert? In a cacti!"

"How do you know when your best friend is gay? When his dick tastes like shit"