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Joke of the Day

"When your friends start with the Dead Baby jokes, hit them with this (NSFW): How do you blend a baby? Feet first so you can cum in its mouth as it screams."

"Q: Why did the little girl bury her flashlight? A: Her batteries were dead."

"I'd be far more impressed with He-Man if he went all the way and got his doctorate of the universe."

"How many Russians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, and one to shoot him if he does it wrong."

"What does a fish say when it hits a concrete wall? Dam."

"Whenever I lose a follower I assume they died and the family had the account removed, because hello! I'm amazing!!"

"Two Muslims are on a frozen lake not talking to each other... I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"What did the 0 say to the 8? ... Hey, nice belt.."

"If you want to use excessive force and get away with it too. Just join your local police force."

"*goes into kitchen *makes toast *pours coffee *sits at table *opens Sunday paper ""WHO ARE YOU & WHY ARE YOU IN MY KITCHEN?"" *sighs *leaves"