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Joke of the Day

"If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my dick down your throat."

"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Its not gay if its a three way The two other guys promised."

"Hey Tim Burton, it's okay to be out of ideas."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? that's not funny! >:("

"My girlfriend keeps telling me she's not a fire nymph. She just has chlamydia."

"My moral compass must run on solar power because it definitely goes to sleep after dark."

"[date] Her: ""Well, the horoscopes pretty much govern my life, I'm a sagittarius, what are you?"" Me: *halfway out the door* ""Educated."""

"what is the best gift for a jehovah's witness? an advent calender all those doors so many possibiltes."