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Joke of the Day

"You know why midget performers attract customers? they remind them that life is short"

"I'm not very good with DIY. A pile of books fell on my head... I only have my shelf to blame :-("

"How come Mr. and Mrs. Claus don't have any kids? Because Santa only cums once a year and its down the chimney!"

"Does anybody know whats heart does? Beats me"

"I started playing water polo the other day It was all fun and games until my horse drowned"

"Why do most blind folks not skydive? The sound of the dog screaming at 8000 feet gets to you after a while."

"Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory."

"Me: *breathes"" My parents: you need to watch that attitude young man."

"I can hear my girlfriend in the other room cleaning up my cat's pee. As soon as I think she's done, I'm going to yell out ""I'll do it babe!"""

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got his gas bill"