202331

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is pissed at me for never putting down the toilet seat. To be honest, I AM getting pretty tired of carrying it around."

"Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands."

"ME: I hit my neighbors car. CAT: I killed my last 4 owners. ME: YOU CAN TALK! CAT: ... ME: Wait, what did you just say? CAT: *blinks*"

"What did the squirrel say when he looked up the woman's dress? What a Cunt, got no Nuts."

"Are rhetorical questions really necessary?"

"I keep fixing my door every time my British friend leaves He always brexit."

"What is the hardest part about admitting you are a gay lion? Having to swallow your pride."

"Asked my 3yo what she was thinking and she said ""I wouldn't want to work at McDonald's bc you have to poop in the food before you serve it."""

"My parents told me I should start watching less television and read more So I turned the subtitles on"

"i dont give a frick about your car's horse power i want to know about its other powers lets start with duck power"