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Joke of the Day

"Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard."

"What does Donald Trump say when he's mad? There'll be hell toupee!"

"10: What's it like being a grown up? Me [hands her money]: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly"

"Star Wars Episode VII is like a used car lot. (spoilers) It's where you can see an old Hyundai"

"Heard of the man who banged an ATM? He came into a lot of money"

"What is the biggest battery size? The D. It's huge."

"What would be the name of a very old rapper? 2 Canes"

"What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson? One was shot for playing with little children."

"So I Was Going to Kill Myself But I hear whales are endangered."

"Man crushed by giant baseball. Witnesses say object came right out of left field."