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Joke of the Day

"Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard."

"What noise does a ceiling fan make? GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!"

"How many fuck boys does it take to change a light bulb? None, cause its already lit as fuck fam."

"Guy walks up to a Canadian and says ""Who was that lady I saw you with last night?"" The Canadian says ""That was my wife."""

"Went to Lowes for a new dishwasher pretty stoked that she has a job too."

"What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut you racist."

"I was arrested for killing a black man I'm a black man EDIT: I'm a half black man"

"There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights."

"How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Tentickles"

"Bowling is my favorite sport because you don't have to run and there's beer five feet away."