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Joke of the Day
"Sick of all these Santa apologists. A HOME INVASION IS A HOME INVASION."
Next Joke
"A roofer is working on a house and falls through the ceiling and the people on the inside say, ""nice of you to drop in."""
"How do you eat a vegetable? First get her out of the chair"
"Pet Review: Horses Cost: Thousands of dollars Pros: Bragging about owning a horse Cons: Can literally kick your face off, big teeth 1.5/10"
"What walks on eight legs until the age of one, four legs until the age of twenty, and two legs after? The Weasley twins"
"When the machines rise up against us humans, I really hope ... ...I really hope I'm nowhere near a dildo factory..."
"Why would you go to a psychiatrist? When you can just kill yourself"
"I think the problem is that I'm 20% stud and 80% muffin."
"I want a polka band at my funeral. I'm the one who's dead, let 'em suffer."
"My friend said he didn't mind homosexuality, just didn't like it in his bedroom. I asked, ""have you tried the kitchen?"""