202213

Joke of the Day

"Me: That tree is impeckable ""Don't you mean impeccable?"" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?"

"What's worse than seeing your dad's penis? Seeing your mum's."

"What do you call a female peacock? A peacunt."

"What do you call a lamppost in Niger? Progress."

"How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle? He had *bean stalking* her."

"Why did the cultists adopt a dead child? They wanted to raise the dead."

"What do you call an Islamic mosquito? A 'mosque-ito'."

"A drunk stumbles out of the bar, sees a nun on the sidewalk and pops her one right in the nose... while she's on the ground crying, he says,""Not so tough now, are you, Batman?"""

"It's not Adam and Steve, it's Adam and [Cher autotune voice] beli-EVE *club goes crazy*"

"Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing? Because they've got the same color trunks."