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Joke of the Day

"Why did the kids not want to eat their pbj sandwiches? 'Cause it had lead in them"

"What is the difference between a vacuum and a snowboarder? How you strap on the dirtbag."

"Happy Easter And to the Jews, better luck next time"

"The iPhone 6S+ has been doing really well so far... It seems to be a huge 6S"

"What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico? Kindergarten dropout."

"How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer"

"When I've had a bad day I remind myself that I'm a straight white guy. Then I high five some dudes and we destroy an ecosystem or some shit."

"Bulls from all over India sent a petition to SC asking it to classify them as 'Jallikatu Bulls'."

"Another Twilight movie? God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them."

"As soon as my daughter realizes Jamacians, Irish, & wizards don't all have the same accent, I'm probably going to get fired from storytime."