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Joke of the Day

"I'm at a party right now and your mom is the only one waiting by the punchbowl. Your mom is the punch line."

"I asked my dog why the cat hated him... He said, ""Woof."" I was like, ""Wow, that's ruff."""

"What do you call a state named after highways? Road Island."

"A Rabbi and a Priest are walking in the park when they see a little boy. Priest: ""Hey let's go screw that little boy"" Rabbi: ""Out of what?"""

"It's like my cat doesn't even appreciate it when I take the time to rake his litter box like a Zen Garden."

"Doctor doctor I keep trying to get into fights. And how long have you had this complaint? Who wants to know?"

"How do you kill a fox? You cut off its leg and make it run across canada"

"Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid. Yes sir. It's the iceberg lettuce that does it."

"What does batman call his dick? Robin/Nightwing - depends how big it is"

"The doctor says to the patient ""I have horrible news."" ""I'm afraid you have cancer and Alzheimer's disease."" The patient sighs and says ""Well, at least I don't have cancer."""