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Joke of the Day
"I keep a No. 2 pencil in my pocket just in case motherfuckers wanna test me."
Next Joke
"What's the most common time to see the dentist? Two Thirty."
"Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken ""Who's the best composer"" the chicken said ""Bach, Bach, Bach"""
"What did Disney call their remake of Dante's Inferno? 101 damnations"
"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ...Bad-um Tst"
"You can learn a lot about your kids by helping them with their homework for example, mine are idiots."
"Don't go around telling people what Teresa Ripoll is an anagram of before they've solved it. Spoiler alert"
"My Dogs name is... My dogs name is Jesus because I am still waiting for him to come back"
"I know Tinder is gonna help me meet the right person because all it takes is a mutual like of Virgin America on Facebook."
"I was recently diagnosed with mesothelioma it's tough sometimes, but I'm doing asbestos I can."