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Joke of the Day

"Don't make school shooting jokes. You can't imagine what went through their heads in their final moments."

"My girlfriend cheated on me I told her to leave the game."

"Guys one of the Greek Gods is trying to destroy 80s music! H80s"

"(Art Museum) Me:*sees nature painting* *pulls out sharpie* *draws sun in the top left corner* My 5th Grade Art Teacher: *thumbs up* nice"

"Have you guys ever seen any of my exes? Exactly."

"I have a friend who's half Indian. Ian"

"A 65 year old actress with early Alzhiemer's got a Botox shot, and later regretted it. She couldn't remember her lines."

"JOSH: Hey dad DAD: Oh my god is your name still Josh JOSH: Um yeah DAD: We're changing it JOSH: No please don- DAD: It's done ERIC: What the"

"I met this super nice girl on tinder..."

"[being mugged] ME: can i keep things of sentimental value? ROBBER: ok ME:[pulling things from wallet] my favorite cash...my lucky debit card"