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Joke of the Day

"I am one of the best fortune tellers in the world. My predictions are accurate 99.9999% of the time. I can predict your future fortune right now. You won't be winning the lottery anytime soon."

"Why did the mummy stop using the Internet? He was getting far too wrapped up in it."

"German scientists have discovered a new drug, derived from the bacteria *Adolfus hitlerii*, which will be applied to people with ADD. Its ad campaign will carry the slogan ""It helps Jew concentrate"""

"What do you call two women in a canoe? Fur traders!"

"i was going to tell a gay joke... buttfuckit"

"- Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?"

"What do you get when you mix a penis and a potato? A dictator."

"If you pronounce gullible very slowly it sounds like you're saying green bears."

"What's hard, long and has cum in it? A Cucumber..."

"Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."