201959

Joke of the Day

"Just before I die, I'm going to change my name to OFF'. That way, when the hearse is driving to the church, it will have displayed on top of my coffin in flowers: R.I.P. OFF"

"Clue is a wonderful game that teaches children about murder."

"Why didn't the Mexican take Xanax? He was barred."

"Why do french people love eating snails? Because they hate fast food"

"Someone told me Harrison Ford is part Jewish. So it's fair to say, ""Han hammered first."""

"My alarm is so needy... it wants attention at the worst times!"

"Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?"

"Did you hear about the vintage attache with a perfectly working clasp? It was a classic open-and-shut case."

"What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor? A dog with pawlitical experience."

"A blind man walks into a bar... then a table, then finally a chair."