201938

Joke of the Day

"What did Trump say to the women who told him she could give him the worlds best Blow Job. What's in it for me?"

"what's that lassie? ""Bark"" Timmy's in a well? ""Bark"" and he's jerkin it? ""Bark"" he's looking at what?! ""Bark"" dude I've heard enough"

"Variants for running. Variants for running:- 1. Hot girl in front of you. 2. Creepy guy behind you. (If 1 applies to you, you're probably 2)"

"I know I'm gorgeous, young and sexy. My secret to eternal youth is a steamy bathroom, so my glasses mist up."

"GOD: for this to work, I need them to feel love CUPID: how about I shoot them through the heart with an arrow? GOD: ur starting to worry me"

"What do vegan zombies eat? Grraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssssssssssssss"

"Two penguins were sitting in bathtub... The first penguin says to the second penguin ""Hey, could you pass me the soap?"" The second penguin says ""What do I look like, *a radio?*"

"(OC) What do you call Helen Keller punching someone? Senseless violence."

"Do I play fantasy football? Dude, I'm 46 and married. Most of my life is fantasy."

"Son: What is an autobiography? Father: Er the story of an automobile."