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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer? ...you put the duck in the microwave on high until it's Bill Withers."

"Do you know the difference between curtain and toilet paper? -Do you know the difference between curtain and toilet paper? -No... -GUYS, HE DID IT!"

"My dishwasher broke down and stopped working So I remarried"

"Q: What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja? A: Canuck-chucks."

"What will be the most useless invention? A waterproof teabag"

"BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities."

"Sex with my boyfriend is like Ebay's customer support. I keep hearing please wait one more minute, and I just want the whole thing to be over with."

"What do you call a pizza who's a DJ? DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm."

"Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground? No depth perception."

"I used to have a 2 year old son, he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died... For inspiration"