196296

Joke of the Day

"I have no problem feeding my kid something that fell on the floor, so I get it, restaurant employees."

"-Knock knock -Who's there? -Go fuck yourself!"

"Why did the boy laugh when he was molested by a test? Because the testicles"

"Yo' mama is so classless She could be a Marxist Utopia"

"The person who creates Taco Bell's menu must be the biggest pothead of all time."

"There are marriages that end well... ...and others that last forever."

"Why was 1 all salty? Someone told him it was 2's day."

"*Lysol kills 99.9% of germs on my counter* LYSOL: ""Hey .1% germs... ( -_-)>- (_) Tell your friends"""

"911: What is your emergency. M: I need to report a home invasion. This woman looks like my mother in law but she's smiling. Please hurry."

"Judge: Sir, need I remind you that you are under oath? Goldfish defendant: Yes."