201865

Joke of the Day

"BOSS: You ok? ME: Yeah, why? BOSS: You have a sign that says ""2 Days Without Being Annoyed"" [maintaining eye contact, I change it to 0]"

"What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? I didn't do it on porpoise."

"If any one is starting a band, let me know, I'm really good at taking pictures while looking off in the distance."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Fast Food Barbie ...also known as McBarbie...you want fries with that?"

"If looks could kill, I'd still use a baseball bat."

"I heard that Auschwitz had to ask people to stop playing Pokemon Go. Which is weird, because they have the same slogan. Gotta catch 'em all."

"New Adage! Coined a phrase today and wanted to share: ""You either go with the flow, or get flushed down the toilet."" Pretty cunning don't 'cha think?"

"How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back! And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first"

"I was feeling depressed, then saw a guy with one arm and thought ""oh man, I could be getting so much more sympathy if I was missing an arm!"""

"Q: What kind of limes open doors? A: Key limes."