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Joke of the Day

"What do the weather man and every other man have in common? They say it's going to be 10 inches, then end up only being 4 to 6."

"Why are books the only thing advertised as ""Wherever books are sold."" You can't sell other stuff by saying ""Wherever you get this shit, IDK"""

"Responded to a ""you up"" text at 3AM with ""Let me play with your teeth."" The reply ten minutes later: ""no."" This is already my favorite year."

"It's scary living in Massachusetts... Every time I watch the news I hear about Mass shootings."

"Fifty Shades of Grey instills that if a dude is sexy and rich you should allow him contractual ownership of your body because helicopters."

"Does anyone know any good Groundhog Day jokes? Because I keep hearing the same ones over and over"

"Sex is a dick activity... ...though I like to shorten it to a-dick-tive."

"Wife: Your PMS jokes aren't funny. Me: I can't help it, they just flow out of my mouth. Wife: ... Me: Fine. No more. Period. Wife: *eyeroll*"

"A sentence and a phrase is arguing, what did the sentence say? I know where you're coming from this phrase, but I can't see your point."

"what gets uglier the more you watch it? yo momma stripping"