201693

Joke of the Day

"- Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?"

"Math jokes never work on me I have trouble differentiating them. They aren't an integral part of my life and most of the time they just don't add up."

"Bicyclists, it's one thing to hog the road, but it's quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls."

"What did the American Chef say to the Asian Chef? Take a wok."

"Pancake Day ... Has has really creped up on me this year"

"Two children pieces of graphite are playing with a diamond..... ...Mummy piece of graphite walks in and says ""Leave your Father alone - he's been under a lot of pressure"""

"What do you get from pampering your cow? Spoiled milk."

"Animal sounds Cats go meow Rats go squeak Dogs go woof Pigs go ""Put your hands on your fucking head unless you wanna be shot in your fucking skull!"""

"The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off."

"How did the jews fight off Nazis? Jew jitsu"