201425
Joke of the Day
"What is something that you can never eat for breakfast? Lunch and dinner."
Next Joke
"Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!"
"The more fanciful embroidery you have on the back pockets of your jeans, the less I value you as a person."
"What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks!"
"There are three things I can never remember.... There....um....uh....dang it! I forgot!"
"[Desert island] Me: JANE! Jane: What? M: It's a boat! J: HEEEEEEEEELP! Me writing: Day 286, Jane is still scared of boats"
"As told to me by an indian bus driver overseas... Why don't rabbits make noise when they fuck? Because they have cotton balls. Apologies if it's a repost."
"PSA: Always tip your prostitutes. Small tips are fine. That's what they get paid for."
"Told my wife I was taking her on a date to the cheesecake factory and she thought I meant some restaurant"
"If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, then my illegal logging business is a success."