20142

Joke of the Day

"""Can I go play w/ my Twitter friends?"" Wife: ""Are the kids in bed & the dishwasher emptied?"" ""...Yes"" *wife opens cabinet, kids fall out*"

"I Got Banned From /r/twoxchromosomes I guess I am too male to understand (Y)."

"What's Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album? The Wall. Huehuehue"

"Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it."

"Welcome to Earth, where we hate each other and put ketchup on everything."

"What's the difference between a strawberry and a pencil? One's a fruit, you idiot."

"Do I like like a fan to you? Because you seem so much cooler when I'm around."

"I never discriminate but there is one race I can't stand... The marathon. It's WAY too long a race!"

"So these two blondes walk into a building.. You would have thought one of them would have seen it."

"My buddy plays golf like a man masturbating in a cold shower No matter how he strokes it's just not going to happen"