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Joke of the Day

"In bed with my Japanese girlfriend when I happened to remark that her twat was getting a bit saggy .......... She lost it and said "" Fack you maddafacka, why you always clittysizing me""!!!"

Next Joke
 
"You can't spell ""secret government conspiracies"" without that 27th letter of the alphabet that they're hiding from us"
"What do accountants use for birth control? Their personality."
"What did the bathtub say to the toilet? I get a lot of ass but I don't take no shit"
"Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year? Most weddings happen in June."
"What do you mean by being loud? quiet the opposite."
"Stages of inebriation: Sociable, fun, hilarious, inappropriate, bitter, sad, need new pants, need new friends."
"Ok Reddit, I'll be signing off to take my girlfriend home... ...and I'm back, didn't take long to put my hand in my pocket."
"Husband: Have you lost weight? Me: About 10 lbs H: Who you trying to look good for? *wink M: You don't know him. He's on Twitter..."
"How many men does it take to open a beer? None... It should be opened when she brings it to you."