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Joke of the Day

"Hey baby, you want to come back to my place? I do one hell of a Bill Cosby impression I'd love to show you"

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"How did the hipster drown? By swimming in the main stream."
"Who wants to hear an appendectomy joke? [Removed]"
"I recently watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends."
"What's gonna happen if Hilary Clinton gets elected as President. The kitchen staff are gonna wonder why she's missing."
"I'm not an expert on masturbation, but I hold my own."
"I finished sixth form, I finished university, and I've bought a house, and yet the white walkers haven't arrived."
"What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus? ""Nailed it!"""
"What is it called when a turtle is mentally retarded? Reptile disfunction. ."
"????My lactose-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, carb-free, nut-free, fat-free milkshake, brings all the weirdos to the yard...????"