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Joke of the Day
"An alcoholic walks into a bar. He's so drunk, he doesn't feel anything."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk guy."
"Why did ebola cross the road? To infect more people and make them shit out their insides and sweat blood."
"Rebecca Romaine Lettuce. Is that something? I don't care. It's just one tweet in an entire universe. Who gives a shit."
"Whats the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team? A tribe of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts."
"What do they do with rope in space? Tie Astro-knots."
"lovely joke Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."
"Just made jerk off motions at a group of construction guys. They just stood there staring at each other like ""now what?""...all talk eh boys?"
"Since I've been on my own, I no longer trust a whole gallon of milk... The problem is every time I bring it into my house, it doesn't get drunk. It gets wasted."
"Was hit by a rental car earlier today. It still Hertz."