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Joke of the Day

"""Ok, so you love kids and a clean house? Really, you don't drink but you like to drive?"" Me, interviewing the perfect sister wife"

"A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates... The pessimist says ""It can't get any worse"" and the optimist says ""Oh yes it can!"""

"If I had a dollar for every gender created in 2016 I'd have one million dollars, unfortunately it would be in monopoly money because none of them are real."

"I told my niece if I cut her open she would just be made of chicken quesadillas and she said if she cut me open I'd just be dead. Smart kid."

"One day I'll cure deafness... You hear me!"

"What's the difference between Mighty No. 9 and a gay guy? The gay guy eventually comes out"

"I childproofed the house... but they still get in!"

"Have you heard my joke about the Ebola outbreak yet? Eh... Nevermind. You probably won't get it."

"Who is Chu? And why do no rappers fuck with him?"

"Velcro What a rip off. Joke by Tim Vine."