201101
Joke of the Day
"Wanna freak people out? Lick your fingertips when you finish pumping gas."
Next Joke
"The interviewer asked me, ""What's your worst quality?"" I said, ""I tend to speak my mind."" He said, ""I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing..."" I said, ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""
"I don't even have a theory where Malaysia is."
"My son asked me to get a tartan shirt for his birthday. So far I've only got him the prostitute."
"Would everyone in the room who believes in telekinesis... Please raise my hand?"
"What does a ghost trucker drive? Frightliner edit: sawonne assured me no apology was necessary."
"The number of times you say ""Don't judge me"" is directly proportional to the amount of things you do that you know are wrong."
"Before phones were invented Were dick pics called junk mail?"
"No time to exercise? Get the results of a 30 minute workout in only 3 seconds by accidentally stepping on your cat on the stairs in the dark"
"How do red necks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin"