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Joke of the Day

"Before phones were invented Were dick pics called junk mail?"

"I can really only think of one thing worse than genocide. Jews."

"Why is MetLife Stadium the windiest stadium in the NFL? Because there's a Giant fan in every seat."

"Why are pirates funny? Because they Arrrr (Yes I know its cheesier than my feet)"

"To whoever has my old phone number: I truly hope you're enjoying those texts from that guy I met at that thing"

"Penis It's an insideher joke"

"Treat life's problems like your dog would... If you can't eat it or fuck it, just piss on it and walk away."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music! His newest album is titled, ""I'll Be Bach."""

"On November 9th... Me: ""I guess President Hillary Clinton is with VP Tim Kaine now. And both feeling pretty high. You could say she's ....co-Kaine! Hahah!"" Wife: ""Trump won."" Me: ""Shit..."""

"I love it when the playoff picture begins to develop in baseball. That means football is beginning."