201061

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? Because he was too far out, man."

"A joke about Germans - I m German and i was rolling on the floor laughing about it Q: Why do they bury Germans 20 meters underground? A: Because deep down they are really nice."

"Getting caught under your desk and coming up with nothing in your hand is always so hard to explain."

"Trying to get lunch w 4 yo in restaurant: ""If you can't behave we're going to have to leave here."" ""But I want to leave here."" Touche."

"Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA."

"What happens to an Asian guy when they run into a wall with a full erection? They break their nose!"

"What do you call gummy semites? Chews!"

"Poland started World War 2 like Iraq was responsible for 9/11"

"Me: ""Aw, your baby is cute. How old?"" Woman: ""Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time?"" Me: ""Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."""

"[kisses daughter goodnight] Sleep tight. ""Daddy, where do babies come from?"" Amazon. ""Why's it take 9 months?"" Shipping. Go to sleep."