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Joke of the Day
"What do you call gummy semites? Chews!"
Next Joke
"wife: Why was that guy yelling at you? [flashback to me ignoring the ""one per customer"" sign] me [with a mouthful of cheese samples] No idea"
"Don't make me take off my belt because then my pants would fall down and my body looks like an egg on toothpicks."
"They said when pigs fly.. But the swine already flu"
"How is a chicken like a grape? They're both purple except for the chicken."
"I need a new assistant for my knife-throwing act. Also need a large rug and a gallon of bleach. Please RT."
"Q: Why was the belt thrown in jail? A: He held up a pair of pants."
"What belongs to me but is used the most by others? My ex-wife"
"How do you circumcise a guy from Florida? By punching the nearest ten year old boy in the back of the head."
"You know what they call the strategy involving freshmints while playing a game of timed tic tac toe? The tic tac tick tick tic tac toe tactic"