201021

Joke of the Day

"A gorilla walks into a bar... And several people get up to leave seeing the possible danger of the situation."

"She told me she was a vegan so I pretended I never met herbivore."

"What's the difference between a Greyhound Bus depot filled with old people, and a crab with DD boobs? One's a crusty bus station, and the others a busty crustacean."

"""Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"" said mommy bear. ""Who hasn't"" muttered daddy bear. ""What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"""

"Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting? Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine."

"What do you call a hippo that swears? A hippopottymouth"

"Somebody keeps on putting topsoil on my allotment. The plot thickens..."

"What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad."

"The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations."

"'Space Jam' never gets old - that's because in the sterile environment of space fruit preserves don't spoil. Hi, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson."