200785
Joke of the Day
"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bay-gulls."
Next Joke
"Who's the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy. Who's the coolest guy when he's not around? The hip replacement guy."
"Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me... I thought it was a nice jester..."
"NyQuil: Because who doesn't like to dream about your cat turning into your dog and your dog taking you for a walk and picking up your poop."
"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? None of your damn business. Am I being detained?"
"A joke my grandpa told me... Men start their life from between a woman's thighs, and they spend the rest of their life trying to get back... Talk about home sickness..."
"People keep telling me I'm beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have."
"An enterprising divorce lawyer would set up a booth on a Sunday at a cut-your-own Christmas tree farm."
"Neil Armstrong: now where did I park my car? [presses key button] [tiny orange light flashes on the moon] god dammit"
"For Easter, I will hide pieces of IKEA furniture all over the house and then have my kid assemble it. If she succeeds, she gets chocolate."